Leadership Thinker | Author
Daniel H. Pink is the author of five New York Times bestsellers, including his latest, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, published in February. His other books include the New York Times bestsellers When and A Whole New Mind — as well as the #1 New York Times bestsellers Drive and To Sell is Human. Dan’s books have won multiple awards, have been translated into 42 languages, and have sold millions of copies around the world. He lives in Washington, DC, with his family.
He has been a contributing editor at Fast Company and Wired as well as a business columnist for The Sunday Telegraph. His articles and essays have also appeared in The New York Times, Harvard Business Review, The Atlantic, Slate, and other publications. He was also a Japan Society Media fellow in Tokyo, where he studied the country’s massive comic industry. Before venturing out on his own 20 years ago, Dan worked in several positions in politics and government, including serving from 1995 to 1997 as chief speechwriter to Vice President Al Gore. He received a BA from Northwestern University, where he was a Truman Scholar and was elected to Phi Beta Kappa, and a JD from Yale Law School.
In our conversation, we dive into the various insights from his recently published book - The Power of Regret. He calls this effort a regret reclamation project and says that living a life with no regrets might be a wasted opportunity to learn about what we truly care about and therefore might be a missed opportunity in leading a life of happiness, meaning and fulfilment.
Published in April 2022.
Nuggets from the
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Lawyer to Leadership Thinker
Dan speaks about his journey from qualifying as a lawyer to what he does now. He also shares his insights around what drives his wide arc of curiosity which has led to him writing about the Mind, the process of Selling, Regret, the Science of Timing and a book about careers in the Japanese comic art form – Manga!
Regret - The photographic negative
We all are familiar with the phrase – No regrets! Dan speaks about why it may not be a good idea to say that we do not have regrets. In the book, he actually speaks about an individual who got a Tattoo that said “No Regrets” and subsequently regretted that! He compares Regret to a photographic negative and says that it might have useful information around what we truly care about.
Four Core Regrets
Dan speaks about the Four core regrets that often lie below the surface of the regrets which we often experience – Foundation regrets (I wish I had done the work to lay the foundation when I was younger), Boldness regrets (If only I had taken the chance), Moral regrets (I wish I had done the right thing), Connection regrets (If only I had reached out). He also speaks about how the regrets we have reveals something about the needs we might have.
Regrets and Choice
Dan speaks about the work of Barry Schwartz around regret and teases out the distinction between regret and FOMO (Fear of missing out). He also speaks about how we call can undertake “time travel” to ensure that the “me of 10 years from now” would minimize regret.
Counterfactual thinking
Dan speaks about an interesting piece of research where the study shows that Bronze Medallists are often happier (for being on the podium) than Silver Medallists (who are often upset about missing the Gold). He goes on to speak about the role of “at-least” and “if-only” in the way we frame situations in our head.
Goldilocks balance in handling regret
Dan makes the point that a lot of us are not quite taught to cope effectively with negative emotion. He says that we need to be careful with how we handle regret. On one hand, we cannot ignore it. On the other hand, we cannot wallow in it. Getting that balance right can sometimes be hard.
Inward Outward Forward
Dan discusses three phases that we might want to go through when we deal with regret. The first step is going inward with self-compassion while processing the regret. The second step is about sharing it with a few people around us. The third step is about processing the lesson from that episode and moving forward with greater conviction.
Regrets and Transitions
Dan speaks about the role of regret especially around transitions. He refers to the Japanese art form of Kintsugi which is about embracing the negatives and bringing beauty because of them and not in spite of them. He also refers to the work of Herminia Ibarra who speaks about acting your way into a new way of thinking.
Rifts and Drifts
Dan speaks about two types of Connection regrets – rifts (an event happens and people separate) and drifts (where people move away from each other slowly). He speaks about having a bias for action when it comes to these kinds of regrets as over the long term people regret omissions much more than commissions.